Happy Halloween!!

Mood: sleepy Music: Frank Sinatra "Have Yourself a MerryLittle Christmas"

Happy Halloween everyone!! No cultural find for today, it is a holiday that the Post Office even recognizes afterall!!

MOVITZ!!

Mood: glad it's almost Friday!! and it's almost November!!

Music: The Rasmus "F-F-F-Falling! (US Scream Remix)"

Quote of the Day: "The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of you three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you." ~Rita Mae Brown~

Today's cultural find is a song by the Swedish group Movitz! whom were featured on the Colbert Report quite a while ago. They're so much fun and Suzanne, you're gonna love 'em!!

music video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnaeImQ0TSg

La vie en rose...so beautiful it breaks my heart!!

Mood: still out of it Music: see below ;D

Quote of the Day: see below ;D

I came across the music of Edith Piaf about a month ago, and I was just floored by the power of her voice!! Her nickname on Paris's backalleys and tough streets was "the little sparrow", because of her slight frame and small stature, and also as an ironic joke (referring to her amazing voice!). She's absolutely amazing...as a general rule I do not come across many artists/musicians who are able to convey multiple emotions so seemlessly in just one song (see Annie Lennox's album Bare for an example of what I mean).

Not only does Edith completely control this song through her emotional voice, but she also wrote the lyrics to the song herself. The original song is in French, and I've posted an English translation of the song below. Louis Armstrong and Edith Piaf herself recorded English versions of this song, but I like the French version the best!! The lyrics are just beautiful and heart wrenching...

song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKgcKYTStMc

lyrics (I didn't translate this, probably b/c I know zero French, I stole this from a website so if it's wrong I apologize!!): "Eyes that gaze into mine, A smile that is lost on his lips, That is the unretouched portrait, Of the man to whom I belong. When he takes me in his arms, And speaks softly to me, I see life in rosy hues. He tells me words of love, Words of every day, And in them I become something. He has entered my heart, A part of happiness, Whereof I understand the reason. It’s he for me and I for him, throughout life, He has told me, he has sworn to me, for life. And from the things that I sense, Now I can feel within me, My heart that beats. In endless nights of love, A great delight that comes about,The pains and bothers are banished, Happy, happy to die of love. When he takes me in his arms, And speaks softly to me, I see life in rosy hues. He tells me words of love, Words of every day, And in them I become something. He has entered my heart, A part of happiness, Whereof I understand the reason. It’s he for me and I for him, throughout life, He has told me, he has sworn to me, for life. And from the things that I sense, Now I can feel within me, My heart that beats." (http://www.useless-knowledge.com/)

Alfred Jensen, Far-out man

This painting is called "Research in a Growth Hormone".

Mood: where am I? Has anyone else ever noticed how amazing gummi bears smell?

Music: Derek and the Dominos "Layla"

Quote of the Day: "There are many reasons why novelists write--but they all have one thing in common: a need to create an alternative world." ~John Fowles~

Ugh my Lord...I'm trying to wean myself off one of the medications I've been taking for a few motnhs now and my head feels like it's either going to explode or detach itself from my body and float up into the sky like a balloon. Oh my body aches...blech.

Today's cultural find is a painting by an American artist named Alfred Jensen, he's quickly becoming one of my favorite artists, and I think my only favorite "abstract" artist.

~P.S.~

So I just saw an ad for Arbor Mist Sparkling Wine...guess what I just decided I'm doing on Thanksgiving!! Since I can't afford to fly home for the holiday, and I think my roommate is going home and leaving me the apartment to myself...I'm buying a Paolo Nutini CD and getting loaded on lots and lots of Arbor Mist!! Who wants to have a Klas$ie Thanksgiving with me?!?!

Paolo Nutini is the world's best ventriloquist!!

Mood: ehh Music:
Quote of the Day: "Women are never stronger than when they arms themselves with their weaknesses." ~Madame Marie du Deffand~

So I've discovered Paolo Nutini thanks to our fledgling and awesome radio station here Live 100.5 and after seeing what he looks like today, I have to say that I don't believe that such a soulful, rich sound comes out of such a scrawny, young, Scottish boy's mouth!! But coming up with a conspiracy theory that he's really a fantastical lip-syncher is just too much work for a Sunday night.

Paolo Nutini, "Candy":
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBFgPN4LePQ

TTFN!! ~Kayte~

Reverend Howard Finster

This painting is called "Matthew Arient's Angel"

Mood: uuhhh where's my Midol?? Music: Elvis "Love Me Tender"

Quote of the Day:

"I like my clothes to be tight enough to show I'm a woman, but loose enough to show I'm a lady." ~Mae West~

For today's blog I posted a painting by the controversial artist Reverend Howard Finster. The Birmingham Museum of Art and the Atlanta High Museum of Art both have a fairly extensive collection of his works. I think there's something very beautiful and hopeful about his art, but many of the Bible verses he uses and the statements he writes on his art don't agree with me.

~P.S.~ Suzanne I'm glad to hear things are going better with your friends, and that you got to take a vacation and get out of town for a while!! I love you muy mucho and can't wait to see you again!! TTFN!! ~Kayte~

Yo Soy Un Gummi Bear!!

Mood: doped up on Midol and chocolate, so feelin' good!! Music: the Gummi Bear Song, in Spanish (ok I'm not actually listening to it currently, but I've had it stuck in my head all. day. long. Don't you wish you were me?)

So the Jefferson County Public Library Cooperative is they only thing this city/county can do right (though, their judgment is still slightly off [see: http://bplolinenews.blogspot.com/2009/09/think-youve-got-cutest-pet-prove-it.html])!! I've been slouching-off today and read Karen Marie Moning's Dreamfever which the library finally acquired for me.

I'm not sure how if I liked it or not...hmm. It was very dark and secretive and OF COURSE ended in a cliffhanger, which normally wouldn't be so bad but I feel like the last book had the exact same tone and pace. Plus there's only one more book in the series and I'm not sure how she's going to wrap up all of the loose ends she's still got. Oh well!!

Suffice it to say, I spent my day watching jusst about every PBS documentary on their website and reading this book, so I didn't actually do my blog olbligation for the day. So I'm posting a song I found really beautiful and genuine a long, long time ago:

It's Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah", but the kicker is that I don't like this version very much. Two contenders are tied for my favorite version of the song, and I've included links both of their (live) performances on youtube below.

K.D. Lang: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P_NpxTWbovE

Jeff Buckley: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AratTMGrHaQ

You decide whose version is better!! Listen to both and then comment back to let me know your answer!!

TTFN!! ~Kayte~

Photo

Mood: happy Music: Sade "Please Send Me Someone to Love"

So I finished the pointless essay I've been struggling to write, ran errands...all in all a very productive day!! So, watching Transformers 2. Today's "stuff" is a picture I took of a reclining lioness at the Atlanta Zoo.

Emigrate

Mood: sleepy...so very, very sleepy... Music: Peggy Lee "He's a Tramp"

As per our agreement, here's an interesting new artist I've found!! I know I didn't post yesterday, but I hope finding a new artist I really like makes up for it.

As some of you know, one of the main ways I "write", or more accurately, come up with story/character ideas is listening to music. I don't know exactly how this works, but my brain sometimes simply here's a song and then crafts like a movie scene to fit that song. As a result of this, I have soundtracks for all of my stories, and the song I've listed below is the soundtrack song for the first few chapters in my "book" that I'm trying to write.

The group is called Emigrate, headed up by the lead guitarist for Rammstein. The song is called "Resolution". Enjoy!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zcXNwZw0uY

Idea!

Ok so I thought of something I can do everyday to give my blog direction and make it more interesting!!

Everyday I have to do one of the following and then post the results to my blog:

1. Take a photo of something that I found beautiful/intriguing.

2. Find a new music artist/new song that I like.

3. Find a painting/piece of art that moves me.

4. Try a new recipe/craft.

Ok, so, to get me started here's a picture I found at peopleofwalmart.com, which is currently my favorite website!!

A nice, overcast day

Mood: comfy Music: Stone Temple Pilots "Sour Girl"

You know your life has hit an all time low when the three highlights of your day are as follows:
1. Blue Bell blueberry cheesecake ice cream
2. Watching PBS documentaries/Golden Girls all day instead of doing hmwk
3. This video:
http://www.viddler.com/explore/failblog/videos/307/

Ugh, I guess I should get around to doing some hmwk today...

...watching American's Funniest Home Videos on youtube.

Quote of the day:
"A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to be tied up." ~Mae West~

Help!!

So, I can't help feeling that my blog lacks some oomph or a direction...zazz.

I'm thinking there needs to be something that I can do/write about everyday or almost everyday to keep this interesting. Ya know, like how Julie in Julie and Julia (which is a great movie btw!!) made a Julia Child recipe everyday. I think I'm just not interesting enough to have a daily blog w/o a daily directive.

Any ideas?? Any input?? Zazz??

Trampoline

Mood: hmm...wistful? satisfied? Music: Paul Simon "Graceland"

Got an assignment about the benefits of clean needle exchange programs done early, woohoo me!! We have tomorrow and Friday off from school for "fall break"...which is actually Latin for "kiss these next three days goodbye, b/c you're up to your eyeballs in hmwk". Most people don't actually know that, so remember it and whip it out at your next party, everyone will think you're super cool.

I was listening to "Graceland" and I got to the part where he says, "There's a girl in New York City who calls herself the human trampoline/and sometimes when I'm falling, flying, and tumbling in turmoil I say 'whoa, so this is what she means! She means we're bouncing into Graceland!" Today was slightly overcast and lovely here, and after I heard this song all I could think about was how much I love leisurely jumping on a trampoline. And floating and swimming lazily in our backyard pool. And just playing with the dogs while laying in the grass, watching the branches sway overhead. God I'm homesick...I can't wait to be done here and back somewhere where everybody knows my name, and they're always glad you came ::paino solo::

Ok no, seriously, if you're somewhere where you have people who appreciate you, and love you for who you are, you are very lucky indeed. Take a moment to appreciate those people in your life you couldn't live w/o. Send them a text, write them a little note, or call 'em up and grab a bite to eat!! I've been talking to a lot of people lately who are feeling very disjointed or unappreciated, maybe it's always like this in the Fall. I can't remember, what do you guys think? I think it's just this year, Mercury must be in retrograde or sumthin'!

As a sidenote, I have to read Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell (hello tipping point) for one of my classes, and apparently people who are really successful spend about 10,000 hours working at whatever it is they're successful. So basically at this point, I think the only thing I should be really successful with is school, b/c I think that's the only thing I've spent even close to 10,000 hours doing. What a completely and utterly depressing thought. Oh and well I've spent over 10,000 hours daydreaming...too bad that won't get you a job anywhere!!

Quote of the day:
"As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree.' Probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on." ~Woody Allen~

Feeling aggressive, frustrated, and kinda fatalistic...

Mood: see above Music: Rammstein "Ich Will"

Today in the peer education/sexual health class I TA we started a couple-of-weeks-long project to bring the impact of the AIDS Quilt home. Every student had to design a super small panel (we're talking inches here) for someone they've lost. Then today we all went around the room and discussed who our panels were for and why we decorated them the way we did. It was an emotional class, much more so than I even expected. Even with the tears, it seems like the class liked the project and I think they like me and feel comfortable with me...and today I was explaining why unprotected anal sex is considered the most at-risk behavior for contracting HIV, and one of the students said, "You are so knowledgable!!" So I think they trust what I'm saying, and I feel like I'm actually teaching them something!! This reaffirms my desire to teach college students, especially human sexuality/sexual health classes. So that's working towards a goal, right?

In other news, I have been having the most intense cravings for Mexican food which are going unanswered b/c I'm stuck in the South!! Oh I can't wait to get back to my barrio!! It's also midterms time here and I have 2-3 papers I have to write this week...boo. Megaboo. Is it possible to have senioritis when you're in grad school? I choose to think so...

I feel like I'm disconnected from everyone back home, so if you're reading this, comment and lemme know how you're doing!!

Quote of the day:
"...rejoice in our suffering, suffering produces perserverance, perserverance-character, and character-hope." ~Romans 5:3~

Wow...what a monumental waste of a day

Mood: sad, slightly in pain Music: The Sleepy Jackson "God Lead Your Soul" (Suzanne, you would love this song!! The video's kinda creepy though)

Ugh, massive headache centered just behind my eyeballs...I want to drill a hole between my eyes to let some of the pressure out or sumthin!!

So I just spent 2 hours sitting through a completely waste of space class (but we got out half an hour early, so praise God for small favors...), and my mom called me while I was in class to let me know that my Teta (aunt) Zorka on my father's side died. Major bummer. She was one of the real matriarchs in our family, and, like my Teta Jennie's funeral, I won't be able to fly out for her funeral. ::sigh:: That's life I guess.

Now, for something less sad:
Apryl has recently posted some new art on her facebook profile that everyone should def log on and look at ASAP!! It's amazazing!! Apes, would you be willing to paint a commission piece for me? I want something that has to do with my "book", or that could be used as a cover or something. You can pretty much do whatever you want, but I have two ideas:
1. I've decided the symbol for my book is a faravahar (attached pic), since some of the mythology of the book incorporates Zoroastrian ideas.
B. Maybe there could be an outline/silhouette of the main character (she looks just like me) holding a scimitar or not...I don't know how hard it is to draw silhouette's, but I'm not married to this idea. Whatever you think is best, I trust your opinion (especially when it comes to art)!!

I haven't done anything to work towards a goal today, and I don't think I'm going to. I'm feeling bummed...and like I wanna engage in trephanation for the first time.

Quote of the day:
"No change, no pause, no hope! Yet I endure." ~Percy Bysshe Shelley~

Procrastination

Mood: avoidant Music: Billie Holiday "They Can't Take that Away From Me"

"Creative persons...often take rests and sleep a lot...they consider the rhythm of activity followed by idleness or reflection very important for the success of their work."
~Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi~ Creativity

I was flipping through a book just now and came across that quote, and now I'm using it as an explanation for why I'm laying on the floor listening to music and playing mahjong instead of doing my homework (or anything else important). I have to write a 4-5 page paper outlining a suicide prevention plan for UAB and then finish reading a book about super successful people and how they became super successful.

Do you ever notice that when you're procrastinating the last that you wanna do is observe other people being productive? Blech.

Opps!!

Ok I forgot to post a quote, so here it goes:
"If you cannot teach me to fly, teach me to sing." ~Sir James Barrie

Light vs. Darkness: Book 1, Chapter 1

(ok so the formatting was lost in translation (aka copy and pasting) so hopefully you can read it!!)
“What the fuck was that!?”
“I don’t’ know…” pant pant, “…just keep, running!!”

As if sensing that we were attempting to talk about it, the thing behind us snarled and a garbage can was suddenly flying through the air, narrowly missing the right side of Jade’s head by a few inches. The can flew forward and slammed into the side of a building just ahead of us with enough force to crumple the can like it was made out of aluminum. We somehow managed to sprint even faster into the dank, darkness that was Phoenix’s industrial sector at night. How did we even get here? It didn’t seem like that long ago we were still in the outskirts of downtown, with its people, and lights, and police (ok so we didn’t actually see any police but there had to be some just cruising along didn’t there?). If we could only get back to downtown somehow, then the thing chasing might be scared off by all the people.
Or maybe we’d find some police officers and they’d shoot it.
Or maybe it’d get hit by a car.
Or maybe we’d keep running until the monster caught us with us and then it’d eat us and spit up our bones.

No! I refused to think like that, we could still pull out of this alive somehow. Ok, we just had to have an escape plan, right, good…an escape plan. So think, what’s our escape plan? Umm (think brain think!)…keep running? Panic was making it too hard to think straight and every time I started to formulate an idea, the thing chasing us would growl or make some other noise and the only thought in my brain was “AHHHHH!!” The one and only thing I could clearly figure out: if we did lose and the monster caught us, then I wasn’t going down without a fight! The sound of our sneakers pounding the dried, cracked pavement so hard and so fast echoed eerily off of the tall walls around us and sounded like an army marching to war.

Escape from the monstrous thing that was chasing us was our only goal and theoretically should have been easy enough; but unfortunately neither Jade nor I had ever toured the über lovely industrial area of Southside Phoenix, so we had no idea where we were or where we were going. We were currently sprinting down a confusing maze of dimly-lit back alleys at a speed that would have made Usain Bolt proud.

One of the streetlights at the end of the street flickered back on and we were greeted with a dead end. We didn’t slow though, just kept up our breakneck pace as if we were going to run right through the abandoned warehouse in front of us. The creature behind us screamed, most likely in triumph, but “scream” doesn’t accurately describe the sound tearing out of its throat. There is no word in the English language that would do this horrific wail justice. It sounded like wind whipping through a canyon, nails scraping down a chalkboard, an Eagle screeching, and people screaming on a rollercoaster all rolled into one evil, awful sound. It made every single hair on my body stand straight, and it made my heartbeat speed up until it felt like it was going to explode inside my chest. Oh God, oh God!!

We were almost at the dead end now, just one more building to go and then we were trapped. The street light flickered off and I was able to notice a faint pink light coming from the left side of the street…there was another street! It was just so narrow that we couldn’t see it before! I opened my mouth to tell Jade but she was already yelling, “Left or right?!” At the last second I shouted “Izquierda!” I have no idea why, I guess I was unconsciously hoping the creature didn’t speak Spanish like we did and therefore we’d be able to gain a few more precious seconds.

We both managed to take a hard left and continue down the narrow side street without losing any speed or time. The street was so narrow that only one car would be able to drive at a time; but all these buildings appeared to be abandoned and the street looked like it was barely ever used so I guess its size (or lack thereof) wouldn’t be a problem. The faint pink light we’d seen was coming from an old, neon cross attached to a warehouse four blocks ahead.

The monster must not have known Spanish and it apparently didn’t like being fooled. It screamed again, but this time it was exponentially louder…and it was closer than it had been before. Much, much closer. It had almost caught up to us, shit, shit, double-shit!! I spared a wide-eyed, sideways glance at Jade and we managed to kick it up another notch. Our purses jumped and jangled, barely staying on our arms as they pumped rapidly back and forth. I didn’t even want to consider what valuable items had flown out of them and rolled into an urine-soaked gutter behind us. I’m pretty sure I lost my wallet and phone just before the garbage-can-incident and my purse now felt like there was nothing left in it. So what the heck did I need it for anyway? I yanked it off my arm and threw it backwards over my head.
It must have hit the monster because it growled as I heard fabric tearing and felt spittle or wetness of some sort hit the back of my neck. Come on, only two blocks to go! Jade tossed her purse and then dug her lipgloss out of her pocket and dropped it just behind our feet. I assume it was to trip the creature…genius! Truly inspired! I managed to work my finger into my pocket but it was empty. Whatever had been in it must have worked its way out blocks ago. Unfortunately it didn’t work and the monster just batted Jade’s purse away and we could hear it colliding with a dumpster to our right.

Less than a block to go, and oh thank God! There were a few cars and an old truck in front of the warehouse…maybe someone was there to help us! We were almost there…just a little bit closer…something sharp swiped the back of my shirt, causing my whole body to be jerked backwards. I ran forward with all my might, the shirt ripped, and I flew forward faster than I’d anticipated and my foot twisted under until all of my weight landed on my poor ankle. I fell forward right on my face, barely missing the hood of the car next to me. Jade turned to see me on the ground and slowed down to help, but I held my hand out to her and raggedly screamed, “GO!” She reluctantly turned and kept running towards the warehouse door. I pushed up from the ground and tried to launch myself forward but something strong and unbelievably cold wrapped around my upper arm and twirled me around until I was facing something far worse than anything in my absolutely worst nightmare.

Goin' for the gold, err, goal!

Mood: pumped Music: I'm actually watching a Golden Girls episode right now ("Comedy of Errors" for no one who cares)

Saright, it's time to pick and a goal and start tackling it. Since my funds are so restricted right now, and since I'm still stuck in Alabama until Dec. with limited access to people/resources that can help me, I'm going to work on goal #1: writing and publishing a novel!

So here's the scoop:
*All my life I've made up stories in my head to amuse myself when I'm bored, so I told my best friend Suzanne one day and she said, "You're writing this down, right? B/c I wanna know what happens next!" Until then I never realized that anyone else would ever be interested in my stories.
*So I'm writing aparanormal romance novel set in present day Phoenix, AZ (my hometown woot-woot!!)
*I've finished quite a few chapters, and researched the Romance Writers of America/publishing options. I've gotta give a shout-out to Nalani Singh and Lori Handeland for actually posting tips and helpful links for aspiring writers...what amazing writers and astonishing ladies!!

THE List

Mood: content Music: "Stir It Up" Joss Stone and Patti LaBelle
Today's quote: "What a person thinks of himself, that is what determines, or rather indicates, his fate." ~Henry David Thoreau~

Ok so, I realized after that first post that I didn't actually tell you what my goals are. Lo siento!! It's waayy too early for dementia to be setting I swear...I'm only 22!! Oh well, it's my parents' fault. Ok so my list was obnoxiously long when I first wrote it, and it included a lot of long term goals that aren't doable right now (like having kids, owning my own home, traveling to the UK, etc.). I am a poor (and I do mean poor) college student who is going to be up to her eyeballs in school loans once I graduate, so goals have to be relatively financially possible. I also realize that these are just the big, broad goals and I haven't elaborated on them or broken them down into smaller, attainable steps (I am a public health student afterall). I'll elaborate on them more later when I start trying to tackle them.

1. Finish writing my first novel and find a publisher to publish it.
2. Finally get my interpreter's certification in American Sign Language.
3. Start bellydancing and Bollywood/Indian dancing again (and get good at it!).
4. Take cooking classes.
5. Plant and upkeep a garden.
6. Learn how to play the Celtic harp.
7. Take ballroom dancing lessons (::gulp::).
8. Teach a college class.
9. Volunteer longterm with an organization, possibly a domestic violence/sexual assualt organization again.
10. Find a way to laugh everyday.
11. Travel as much as possible on my nonexistant income.
12. Feel happy, fulfilled, and satisfied with my life.
13. Master the art of cooking with a crockpot.

OoOoOo It's so shiny and new!!

Wow. I've never blogged before, so excuse me if my etiquette is off.

Well, like the ridiculously long blog description says, this blog is basically about me attempting to figure out my life and accomplish things I've always wanted to. This is scary for a lot of reasons, but I think mainly for these three:

1. I don't like being pushed out of my comfort zone, and many (if not most) of my goals make me do this.
2. There is a good chance I'll just flat out fail trying to accomplish some of the things I want to do.
3.I've decided to keep a blog of my (mis)adventures, that pretty much anyone can read. Though I don't think that many people will, so I really shouldn't be embarassed. Besides, if I do something really embarassing (which often happens, I just have that kind of luck), then at least the three people who stumble upon this someday will have a hearty laugh at my expense (which is fine with me b/c I laugh at myself all the time).

So, I have to tell you that I love old people (don't worry, this makes sense just bear with me). They're so full of wisdom and awesome stories, and most of the time they're hilarious because they're too old to give a damn anymore. But one thing I've noticed in talking with many older people is that most of them have regrets, not so much about things they've done but rather about things they haven't done. I've been fortunate enough to be surrounded by caring and colorful older people my whole life, and they've told me to go out and make my mark on the world repeatedly.

I also was fortunate enough to enroll in an honors optimal living class a couple of years ago. I wish I could remember the name of our instructor because she was amzing, but unfortunately I've got swiss cheese for brains. Anyway, our "textbook" for this class was the amazing Life Medicine: Wisdom for Extraordinary Living (3rd rev ed.) edited by Nancy Spence. This is a truly life-changing book, and I would advise the three people reading this to go out and find this book!! I'll be basing many posts off articles and quotes from this book. This class/book was the first thing to shock me out of my complacent rat-in-the-maze thinking and plans about my life. Well, that's ridiculously long enough for a first post, ta-ta for now!!